I Don’t Hate My Ex, But I Love My Peace More

 For a long time, I thought healing from divorce meant I had to hate her. That I needed to hold on to bitterness or anger to justify the pain I went through. I thought that to move forward, I had to villainize her.

But here’s the truth: I don’t hate my ex, I just love my peace more.

It took me time to get here. Time to sort through the wreckage, to replay the memories, and to grieve not just the woman, but the version of myself that existed when we were together. And yet, through all the emotions, one thing became clear — hatred would only tie me to the past, but peace would set me free.

Letting Go of the Scorecard

Divorce can turn people into competitors in a game no one asked to play. Who moved on first? Who was at fault? Who suffered more? Who won?

But I had to ask myself:

Keeping mental score didn’t bring healing. It brought tension. It dragged my emotions back into places I had already outgrown. So I dropped the scorecard. I stopped trying to prove that I was the better person. I stopped trying to “win” the breakup.

Because real victory for me was inner peace.

She Was a Chapter, Not the Whole Book

My ex was a part of my story. A significant part. But not the whole story.

We shared laughter, plans, frustrations, arguments, and dreams. And for a while, we genuinely tried. That effort was real, even if the outcome wasn’t what either of us expected.

But just because someone was once the centre of your world doesn’t mean they always have to be. I had to learn how to close the chapter — not with fire, not with fury, but with a sigh of understanding.

Peace Isn’t Passive — It’s a Choice

Choosing peace didn’t come naturally. At first, I wanted to react, defend myself, rewrite the story in my favor. But peace required discipline. It meant resisting the urge to clap back. It meant walking away from old wounds instead of scratching them open again.

Peace meant saying, “I don’t need revenge. I need rest.”

I chose silence over spite. I chose reflection over retaliation. And slowly, I noticed something: I could sleep better. I could think clearer. I was no longer holding onto her energy—I was holding onto my own.

You Can Forgive Without Forgetting

Forgiveness doesn’t mean denying what happened. It means I’ve made peace with it. It means I’ve accepted that people act from their own wounds, fears, and limitations.

It also means I don’t need an apology to move on.

Do I remember how things ended? Absolutely. But I no longer relive it every day. I no longer carry it into new conversations or relationships. I forgave her — not because she asked for it, but because I needed it.

Peace Gave Me Back My Power

When you hate someone, they still have a piece of you. They live in your mind, influence your mood, shape your decisions. But when you choose peace, you reclaim that space.

Today, I make decisions not based on past pain, but on present purpose. I don’t shape my life to prove anything to her. I shape it to honor myself.

That’s what peace does — it returns your energy to you.

Final Thoughts

No, I don’t hate my ex. Hating her would be easy, but it would also be lazy. It would mean I’m still chained to the hurt.

Instead, I love my peace. I love waking up without emotional weight. I love knowing I’m no longer in a relationship that drained me. I love the clarity, the calm, the quiet confidence I’ve grown into.

She was a lesson. I was a student. But peace — peace is the graduation.

And I walked across that stage with my head high.

 Joseph Abdalla