The Divorce Party

People find interesting ways to celebrate the day their divorce is final. It ranges from parties with interesting cakes to vacations with their crew. They have yard signs to announce the occasion. Whatever your method it’s definitely a milestone to acknowledge. The moments leading up to that day are quite stressful and it is a finish line of sorts. Think of it as a celebration of your survival.

I can clearly remember my friends making plans to get together. They wanted to play a Lizzo song and dance. My crew saw the sadness and struggles over the years so I understood their desire to mark the occasion. I hadn’t given any thought about what we would do. I was fine with whatever they planned. After all it was the end of my dark age for them too as my support staff.

I discovered that my divorce was final the day I returned from a weekend getaway. When I received the text from my attorney, it caught me off guard. I called him to clarify his cryptic message. I thought I would have been so excited as I was for all the other accomplishments in my life. However this was different. I never considered that I would be sad or confused.

As I began to explore my feelings I realized that I had enjoyed the idea of being married. Society places high value on marriage and those who can sustain it. However when you can’t you’re made to feel like something is terribly wrong with you. You’re no longer like the others.

What people don’t understand is that you have struggled for a great period of time. Some of them are just now finding out that there was trouble in the marriage. So it would appear as if you gave up suddenly without trying. You don’t need to explain yourself. It’s your life and you get to decide how you want to live it.

Unfortunately due to Covid and my crew’s schedule conflicts, my celebration came a year later.  We turned up that song and I pretended to have a mic as I sang. We sang and danced to a list of songs. Later that night a grabbed one of my girls and we went out for a bit. I loved the fact that they wanted to acknowledge my transition. I got up the next morning and made breakfast for everyone and we talked about life. We had a good weekend and for that I was grateful.

Beyond the day your divorce is final or the shenanigans with your friends that follows, there is much healing to take place. It is nice to know that your friends want to celebrate this new season of your life and all will be well again in your world. It makes the journey easier to navigate.

Regina H