I Decided to Keep My Married Name

When women get divorced, they have the option to return to their maiden name or keep their husband’s last name. Many people want to distance themselves from anything connected to the marriage and start fresh. For me, it wasn’t such an easy decision. I weighed several factors that were important to my life and future before coming to my conclusion.

At the time my divorce was finalized, I had used this name professionally for twenty-five years. Over time, it becomes your brand. I didn’t want to lose my professional identity and feel as though I had to start over. My name is unique, and people often reconnect with me years later because it’s easy to find me. I’m always grateful for those opportunities to reestablish relationships and business. Keeping my name was a sound professional decision.

As a mother of three children, I also wanted consistency within our family. I didn’t want to be mistaken for a nanny or an aunt. There were countless appointments where I was asked if we shared the same last name. It was easier to say yes. Divorce was already a significant adjustment for all of us, and maintaining the same name alleviated at least one layer of stress.

Friends frequently asked if I was eager to return to my maiden name. The truth is, my maiden name was very common. I once received calls from a bill collector looking for someone in Compton who shared my name and was making poor financial choices. That experience alone reminded me that changing my name wouldn’t necessarily simplify my life.

Some assumed I would want to shed the name entirely, but it had become a part of my identity. I was able to compartmentalize the pain of the marriage and subsequent divorce. I had built my professional reputation under this name. I had carried it for decades. In many ways, it belonged to me. I saw no compelling reason to go through the process of changing every legal document and form of identification.

Every woman going through a divorce will face this decision. Many factors influence the choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. The right decision is the one that supports your life, your peace, and your future. No matter what you choose, you are still the same strong and resilient woman.

Regina H.